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Real Nice and MANY Blond Jokes to chuckle at!


Warning: Some of these are somewhat tasteless, please don't read if you are blond :) but then again, you probably wouldn't get them! :)




A LOT OF BLONDE JOKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?

A: Change.


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Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense?

A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.)


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Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla?

A: Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do.


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Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?

A: She threw it off a cliff.


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Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?

A: She drowns it.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?

A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe.

Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ?

A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.


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Q: Why are there lipstick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?

A: Because she blows the horn.


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Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?

A: Because she's been laid all over the country.


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Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?

A: She kept having affairs with men.


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Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?

A: She picks up her purse and goes home.


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Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard?

A: Grade 4.


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Q: What is the definition of the perfect woman?

A: A deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a pub.


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Q: How would a blonde punctuate the following?: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"

A: Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry.


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Q: Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?

A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.


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Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?

A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe.


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Q: What's the difference between a blonde having her period and a terrorist?

A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.


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Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?

A: She realized she gave her last blowjob.


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Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde?

A: The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?"

The nympho says, "Are you done already?"

The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."


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Q: What is foreplay for a blonde?

A: Thirty minutes of begging.


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Q: How is a blonde like a frying pan?

A: You have to get them hot before you put in the meat.


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Q: What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?

A: Way to go team.


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Q: What does a blonde owl say?

A: What, what?


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Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?

A: To see what was on the other side.


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Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?

A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.


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Q: How do you confuse a blonde?

A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.


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Q: How many blondes does it take to play tag?

A: One.


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Q: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon?

A: Far-from-thinkin.


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Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?

A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"


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Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?

A: Spot.


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Q: What's a blondes favourite rock group?

A: Air Supply.


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Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?

A: So men can understand them.


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Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?

A: She moved.


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Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?

A: Frosted Flakes.


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Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings?

A: Tell them a joke on Friday night.


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Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?

A: Branch Manager.


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Q: What do you call a smart blonde?

A1: A golden retriever.

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Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?

A: Proofreading.


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Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?

A: For throwing out the W's.


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Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?

A: Last year's hide and seek champ.


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Q: What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase?

A: "It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt."


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Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?

A: Wave to her.


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Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?

A: Her IQ goes up.


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Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?

A: Bigfoot has been spotted.


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